Offbeat

10 Things You’ll Relate To If You’re A College/University Student

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College/University is a place where you Google, ‘how to sleep 8 hours in 3 hours’. 


College or university (whatever you call it) is the weirdest transition to a responsible adult. It’s during this time that you realize that you can breathe fire! Okay, not really fire, but, you learn to do the most unbelievable things like: learning how to study the entire semester’s education in one night, copy + paste and make your assignment look un-plagiarized or even how to survive 72 hours with Red Bull or coffee and no sleep. (You know that’s true because you’re going through it.)

Here are 10 moments you can relate to if you’re still a college/university student:

1. WAIIIT! I’M TAKING NOTES! 

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The professor asks you to take down notes because the subject is apparently really ‘important’. So, as a responsible student, you’re ready with your laptop/pen and pad. But then, the professor thinks that you’ve robotic fingers and an amazing memory to remember everything that he says in supersonic speed. He speaks faster than Eminem did in ‘Rap God’. Post lecture, when asked if there are any doubts, you know you surely have one similar to this: Can you please repeat the part of the stuff where you talk about all those fascinating things?

2. Consistency on weekends

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Haven’t slept all weekend? No problem, you can make up for it on the weekend. Instead of completing your assignments and studying for the Monday test, you sleep. Procrastination takes the best of you. By the time Sunday is here, you try to complete your laundry, finish the assignment and study for the test over night before the first rays of the morning sun. Is it worth it? Yes. Will you do it again? Definitely. Do you regret it? Yes. Can you help it? No. Living the thug life.

3. The Exam Schedule Will Be The Death of You

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High school was easy; there wasn’t a lot of stress to deal with back then. But, now that you’re a college student, the professors think that you can ace three exams a day, because, everyone assumes that you’ve been blessed with some kind of super human strength and have a lot more brain power than Stephen Hawkings, Batman and Mr. Peabody, all combined (or probably they just have a dark sense of humor).

5. Group Project By Me, Me, Me… and Me

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Group projects are the most challenging thing that you ever do. It’s usually spent deciding what has to be done and who’s going to do it. The latter being the challenging part. A group usually has 4 kinds of people: The one who does 99.99% of the work (then goes highly insane towards the end of it all), the one who says they’ll help (and you know they’ll definitely help… towards the end), the retard who has no idea what the project title even means (nothing is expected from this person… besides print outs or getting food) and the one who disappears and doesn’t appear until the project has to be handed over to the professor.

You know you’re one of these.

5. Early Morning Class = Nap Time

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You know a ‘9 AM Lecture’ is also known as ‘DOOM’. As a college/uni student, your morning starts after 12 PM, specifically after a cup of coffee. 9AM is considered to be too early to wake up, let alone, study. And if you’re forced to attend that early morning class due to attendance issues, you decide to rely on that intelligent-yet-neglected student of the class for notes and explanation while you sleep, like a baby.

6. College Starter’s Package

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It’s a surprise when the Ivy League universities and regular colleges fail to advertise this aspect of the student college life in the prospectus. As a college student, when the mid-terms or finals are around the corner, you resemble a potato, which in turn, makes you inconsiderable for marriage. You lose thousands of dollars on textbooks (some of which are useless or make you pay extra for that special CD you can’t avoid buying). And social life? Ha ha ha, what’s that? *cue Kim K.’s sobbing*

7. The Time You Realize You Spent 1k on Books 

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College is the time you realize that your books cost more than your week’s wardrobe or all your furniture, or both combined. So, why waste all that money? You come up with innovative ways to reuse all your semester’s books. Sustainability is the key to survival.

8. The King/Queen of Procrastination

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College is the place where you learn to procrastinate like a pro. Your study period, assignments or tasks are ignored till the deadline is around. To cover up for your amazing skill, you tell people that ‘you apparently work better under stress, that’s why you prefer doing the work at the end, for optimum results.’ If the sun’s still out then it’s too early to study, if the sun is long gone and its midnight then it’s too late to study. What is life but an envelope of tough decisions; to do or not to do is the question.

9. It’s called ‘DE-STRESSING’, Not ‘Wasting-Time’

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No matter how much work you have, no matter how drowned you are in assignments or how close is the upcoming test… when a friend asks you if you want to go out with them, one doesn’t simply say ‘no’. It’s a way for you to relax and study better. Right? *gulp* (Let’s leave the answer to that on the results of the test).

10. Not Plagiarizing… Like A Pro

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Assignments are the dull part of college… they become your worse enemies when the professor says that 1/4th of your semester grades depend on the very assignment he just assigned. Initially, your brain goes in overdrive while desperately trying to read textbooks and research on your own to come up with original matter. Eventually, you cry your eyes out before you copy-paste and try to paraphrase in your own words. Also, you end up remembering your much forgotten best friends during such hard times: Spinbot, Paraphrasing-tool and Grammarly. You know what I mean.

Though, no matter how challenging college/university life may be, you cherish it… and stay and live through it for as long as you would like to, (as long as you keep paying the fees). Regardless of how much you say you hate college, you’re going to miss it. A lot!

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