Arts & Music, Food, Online Magazine

Food Hacks

5

By Johara Al Mogbel

Six food hacks for the culinarily challenged.

A love of eating does not automatically compute itself into knowledge of cooking. If we were ever to face a rampaging manticore that can only be staved off by a freshly cooked omelette, there’s a 50 percent chance we’d all be dead within minutes. Which is why we decided to take matters into our own hands, and figure out how to feed murderous creatures before they kill us and not set the kitchen on fire.

 

Here are some life hacks we tried out.

 

1Mac’n’Cheese IN A MUG

We were very sceptical when we tried this, because we couldn’t wrap our heads around the fact that uncooked pasta could go soft in the microwave. But lo and behold, it did! Just keep in mind that many things might go wrong with this one, but hot fresh mac’n’cheese you can make without setting yourself on fire might be worth it.

 

Ingredients:

Small pasta
Cheese
Water
Milk
Mug
Microwave

Steps:

1- Place ½ cup pasta and 1/3 cup water in a mug.
2- Heat the mug in increments of 2 minutes in the microwave, stirring every time you take the mug out.
3- Add ¼ cup milk and ½ cup of cheese. Microwave for another minute.
4- Take out, eat, and hug yourself.

Easiness: 2/5
Success: 3/5

 

 

2Tacos on the Go

This isn’t really for people who don’t know how to cook completely, as you need to source cooked beef from somewhere. It was meant to lessen the use of utensils, as well as make it easier for you to eat on the run. Long story short: It did neither.

 

Ingredients:

Beef (minced meat + fajita spices)
Salad/Cut up vegetables of your choice
Fritos/Lays/Doritos

Steps:

1- Shovel meat in the bag of chips.
2- Add salad.
3- Realize the bag isn’t big enough and put it into a bigger bag.
4- Shake some more.
5- Dump it all in a plastic plate because it’s near impossible to get a perfect salad/beef/chips ratio from the bag and make the perfect taco bowl.

Easiness: 1/5
Success: 2/5

 

 

3Easy Salad Seasoning

So, this might not technically be a meal but it works pretty handily to impress your guests. Plus, they instantly make any food taste better. Salads, mana’eesh, pasta… it’s magical.

Ingredients:

Seasoned potato chips
Pepper grinder
Plastic bag
Boxing gloves

Steps:

1- Place the bag of chips in a bigger bag to minimize debris.
2- Put on boxing gloves. Box bag rapidly.
3- Pour into pepper grinder.
4- Sprinkle over all available food.

Easiness Rating: 5/5
Success: 5/5

 

 

5Blink of an Eye Cake

We loved this one. We really, really loved this one. One-minute cake in a for-one size that we wouldn’t have to share? We’re all for that. Bring it on, sweet tooth, we are going to absolutely slay you. Sidenote: most recipes called for flour and chocolate and other weird stuff, but we’ve decided to forego that and make it even simpler. You’re welcome.

Ingredients:

Cake Mix
Milk
Mug
Frosting and Sprinkles

Steps:

1- Pour the amount of cake mix you’d like into the mug, make sure it isn’t more than half of the mug just in case.
2- Pour milk in in little amounts, and stirring it in until it resembles cake batter.
3- Place in microwave for 1/12 or 2 minutes.
4- Decorated with a dollop of frosting and some sprinkles, for fun.
5- Thank us.

Easiness: 4/5
Success: 5/5

 

 

6

Donut Waffle Pancakes

We’ve all had those days where we find a stale box of Krispy Kremes, get hit hard with a craving wave, and decide to forgo our palates to eat them. Except that is a horrible idea and we’re here to dissuade from that crime. Behold, donut waffles!

Ingredients:

Box of original Krispy Kreme donuts
Waffle maker/sandwich presser
Plate
Huge appetite

Steps:

Plug in the presser, place the convenient amount of donuts inside.
Close presser, and wait till the sizzling sound wafts to your brain. Allow crispiness according to taste.
Take out donuts, stack them, and bite in.

Easiness: 5/5
Success: 4/5

 

 

4No-Oven Omelette

This is very useful for people with a phobia from stoves.

Ingredients:

Waffle/sandwich maker
Eggs
Salt
Cheese
Bowl and spoon

Steps:

1- Plug in the sandwich press and wait until it heats up.
2- Break the egg and mix it in a bowl, add salt according to taste.
3- Pour egg mix into sandwich press tray.
4- Watch it cook, and add cheese when it’s nearly done.
5- Flip over, and enjoy!

Easiness: 3/5
Success: 4/5


 

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