Food, Online Magazine

Diaries of a Lazy Person: Hosting

For those who didn’t catch part one of this series, I won’t reintroduce myself because… Well I’m lazy.

Being lazy, or a part-time Narcoleptic for the politically correct police, we react to effort like a cat recoils from a cucumber- check out the videos, they’re hilarious! But human contact and socialization is an essential part of survival. So, like the Darwinian creatures we are, we must adapt to survive.

Hosting is always a hassle for me because the bigger the number, the more difficult it is to feed them. I can always put out some chips and tell them to have at it but chips without dip is unspeakable, and I’m lazy, not a savage. Bill Gates once said, I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it,” so let me break down my fool-proof hosting solutions.

Throw a Potluck

The ultimate hosting cheat-code. If you’re hosting, you might as well make your guests work for it. Have them grab a dish from their house and bring it over. If you have to do the clean up, at least make them participate in the mess. Besides, this method also ensure maximum amount of leftovers for the coming days. Winning!

Cooking Party

Middle Eastern culture emphasizes the importance of breaking bread together to cultivate connections. I however suggest we take that to a whole new level. Invite your friends to spend a day in your kitchen and help out with the cooking. This way we’re not only breaking bread together, we’re breaking eggs, space boundaries and, if you’re doing it right, some plates.

Homemade Dips

Ok, hear me out. I know we’re trying to avoid most effort, but let me fill you in on a dip shortcut. You know the packaged powdered soup and salad dressing at the supermarket? Those are your dip. Pick a flavor, preferably one with a garlic, pour it in some yoghurt and voila! You got yourself some dip.

Takeout is an obvious choice, but you might want to put some effort into the presentation. Do what most new housewives do and switch the food out of the containers and pretend you made it (not advisable if everyone knows you’re lazy or a bad cook). Check out the article on our roundup of Instagram finger foods for some ideas on what to order and from where.

Life is all about the little victories. If you’ve tried any of my foolproof methods, give yourself a pat on the back for exerting the minimal amount of effort required.

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