By Jou Pabalate and Johara Al Mogbel
Oh no you didn’t! Oh yes we did…
1. Strolling with Trolls.
There’s a distinct line between being complimentary and being creepy.
Following girls on the street – creepy.
Random commenting – creepy.
Slowing down your car and rolling the down the window while playing stupid music – EXTREMELY creepy.
Sometimes, we really just want to walk on the pavements like normal people. Why make it so hard, you overgrown babies?
2. Doesn’t Ship to Saudi Arabia.
…Or anywhere within a 500 mile radius.
And even if they do ship, it usually ends up more expensive than what you bought in the first place. And finding a website that will do free shipping is like finding the genie in a bottle with his entire clan.
3. Dining al fresco in 49-degree weather while being cloaked from head to toe.
Unless you want to melt and your sweat be the sauce of your main course (gross, but oddly true); You stay indoors and breathe the sweet not fresh air of the ACs like the rest of civilized Riyadhi-ty.
4. Life’s not Beachy.
We’ll concede that Jeddah has this one over us.
But then again, with the sea comes sticky humid. And we’re not fans. So, we’re good.
Now if we can just find a public pool, we’ll be happy ducklings.
5. When your driver is PMS-ing…
And since it’s fictional hormonal imbalance, you’re stuck with it 24/7. You end up arranging your schedules around their availability; you need to come into peace with possibly missing your gym classes and meetings every now and then. And then, there are the legendary drivers who actually get mad at you when they’re late.
#RiyadhFix: Know where to draw the line. Also, if you don’t have a permanent driver, always have UBER, City Taxi or one of the private taxi services stored in your phone. Don’t let the lack of a driver hold you back. If there’s a will, there’s a way. And also, if you have been blessed with a nice driver, be grateful and mind that they’re human.
6. You can’t always just let your hair down.
When a guy barges in on an all female event, or your house and you’re Hijabi… There’s gonna be a lot of flying, dodging and grabbing whatever is available to cover your head.
7. Needing to look your best at all times…
In case you meet your future mother-in-law.
8. When everyone throws wedding wishes at you.
…after you’ve done something well. Graduating? Published a book? Getting a promotion? Saving the world? Uqbal your marriage! It’s like the Bowser if Saudi society was Marioland.
9. Having a job or finals during wedding season.
4 weddings and a final, within 48 hours. In Riyadh it’s normal. Totally normal.
10. When going to a Salon takes more time than the actual time you spend in whatever event you’re going (by event, this is most likely another wedding, we mean).
When you have a life and you have to wait two hours in a salon regardless if you have an appointment. And your hair doesn’t even end up the way you want it.
11. Balancing Trays while wearing heels.
From having the gahwa etiquette masterfully executed, trying to serve everyone before your grandmother starts giving you the stinky eye while trying not to flip over and burn someone; being an obedient Riyadhi granddaughter is a warrior rite of passage.
12. Grandma who overfeeds you and then tells you you’re getting fat.
She gets mad at you when you eat. She gets mad at you when you don’t eat. So you end up trying to do both while sucking your tummy in and acting like you didn’t just eat the last samboosa.
Disclaimer: We love Riyadh and it’s our hometown, so we can make fun of it. We will however bury non-Riyadhi whiners in the desert, mobster style. #JustSayin’. #RiyadhGirlProblems